


A dance of blue and red

by Kyriadamorte



Series: Kyri's Finnrose Week 2019 fics [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Post TLJ
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 05:39:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19419589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyriadamorte/pseuds/Kyriadamorte
Summary: More often than not, when Finn closes his eyes, his world is a dance of blue and red.





	A dance of blue and red

More often than not, when Finn closes his eyes, his world is a dance of blue and red.

He's holding a weapon that feels wrong in his hands while his best friend lies wounded and vulnerable ( _dead, she's_ dead _\- no, no she isn't! she's alive, you know she's alive_ ) splayed out in the snow.He's trained with so many weapons, but nothing quite like this. The balance is wrong - the blade feels like too much and nothing all at the same time.

( _This isn't for me. It's too much too much too much, but I have to, I-_

Did it ever feel wrong for Rey or is it just him?)

It was Rey when it happened then, but it's not always Rey when it happens _now._ Sometimes it's Poe. Sometimes it's Kaydel. Sometimes it's even Slip. Sometimes the forest floor is littered with the bodies of people he can't protect.

Tonight it's Rose.

He hacks at Kylo Ren the way he always does.Blocks, backs away - f _uck_ \- push, push, push-

He's trying his hardest, but it's not enough, he's not enough.Hack, dodge - no, no, no - the saber goes _flying_ and then there's a stripe of white-hot pain up his back and-

He gasps awake, jerking in panic against the small, soft arm across his chest.

It's stupid, he knows.That wasn't the first time he almost died - his entire childhood was an endless gauntlet of tests and sparring and the threat of an airlock - and it wasn't the last time, either.Hells, he had nearly died twice this week alone.

And yet _this_ is where is mind goes. Where it almost always goes.

"Finn?" Rose's voice is soft and sleepy, but not surprised.This isn't the first time he's woken her with nightmares. She already knows what it was.That's not what she's asking.

Finn doesn't speak in response, just hugs her tighter, pulls her all the way on top of him.She nuzzles her slightly-too-cold nose into his neck before slowly placing kisses up along his pulse.The pace, the pressure - they're each a question.He tips his head back in answer while running his finger slowly up her spine. She shivers and kisses him hard, bites.

She's alive.They're both alive.

(He hasn't failed her yet.)

~

When Rose closes her eyes, her world is red.Nothing but red.

The light of the cannon spreads across her hands like blood.The heat blisters across her face and burns at the back of her throat, choking her.

Finn is too far away, she's not going to make it.Forward, forward, burning, she's burning, _Finn's_ burning.

Last time, he'd burst into flames before her eyes.A meaningless, heartbreaking, horrific flash of light.Today, she crashes into his ship, just as before, but this time she looks into the cockpit and he's dead, crumpled and bleeding.She'd tried to save him, but she'd ruined it all and now he's dead, dead and it was all her fault.

She wakes with tears on her face and reaches for him.He's already fully awake and peering at her, brows furrowed in concern."Rose?"

 _You were gone,_ she almost says. _I lost you and it was for nothing._

 _And I am going to lose you one day,_ she doesn't quite stop herself from thinking. _I'm going to lose you and it won't be for nothing, you'll die a hero, but that's not going to make it better._

"Hold me?" she asks instead.

He pulls the threadbare blue blanket tighter around them both.She closes her eyes and listens to his heartbeat.

But behind her eyes is red.Still, red.


End file.
